Anyone familiar with the proverb (or Hillary Clinton’s 1996 book): “It takes a village to raise a child”, will recognize my play on words in the title of this entry. While I don’t have children of my own, the psychological well-being during a child’s formative years is a cause that’s very close to my heart. I suffered with severe forms of depression, obsessions and compulsions throughout my childhood. It’s a child’s development, for better or worse, which will continue to impact them throughout the remainder of their lives, far beyond their formative years. I know, because I’m still working on healing my past.

I often talk about changing the world. If it’s true we must be the change we want to see, and I believe it is; shouldn’t that change be directed primarily towards the youngest of minds, as they will come to have the greatest impact on the direction of humanity?

The majority of psychological issues faced by most adults were exacerbated during their childhood. The sad fact: as a nation, the United States has more children with mental health issues than ever before. I’m not talking about institutionalized conditions. I’m talking about “common”, “ordinary” issues like depression, eating disorders, emotional issues, body dysmorphia, etc. If our ways of raising, educating and socializing children are working so well, why are we seeing an increase in psychological trauma?

The argument could be made that we now have more forms of communication which create a heightened sense of awareness about such issues. It also could be said doctors are label happy when it comes to making a diagnosis. While these factors could be contributing to the perceived increase, there still seems to be legitimacy to the statistics. Children are experiencing far more emotional and psychological anguish in their lives than ever before.

I believe the true cause of this resides in “our village” moving farther away from taking conscious, uplifting action as it raises children. We’re all hell bent for leather on taking action this way and that way, but how many times does that action reflect the greater good of the child?

How often are the actions we take primarily for forwarding our own blind agendas, instead of relating to children as human beings and taking into consideration their input? How often do we focus on their perceived shortcomings, instead of providing positive reinforcement of their strengths? How often does our educational system treat them like numbers or cattle, herding them through the system and stuffing uninspired curriculum down their throats? How often are they treated like property, instead of like little people who simply haven’t had a wide range of experiences?

How often is it believed they are resilient and will recover from anything because they are kids? How often do we assume they are similar to one another, regarding how they relate to life and their perceptions of the world? How often do we sell their potential short when it comes to the insights they possess? How often do we teach them to have a competitive mindset? How often do we teach them happiness is only achieved externally? How often does the educational system relate to them as “recruits” who need to be broken so they will conform?

I’m not suggesting we do away with discipline or educating children; though these two areas, as they currently stand, need large amounts of reform and change. I am suggesting we set an example in which we treat them in the exact same manner we would want to be treated. Is it that difficult to let love provide the way in which we “allow” our children to grow and flourish while we simultaneously raise them, whether we are parents, educators, coaches or mentors?

I’m suggesting we’re present with them and we be there for them in the moment (when the moment is available). I’m suggesting we allow them to feel their true feelings, instead of teaching them to bottle everything up inside and to push it all down. I’m suggesting we help them to understand how to empower themselves through feeling their emotions. I’m suggesting we show them how to lift up others instead of beating them down.

I’m suggesting we help them to understand the impact their actions can have, without always resorting to heavy handed punishments. I’m suggesting we teach by example, how to sincerely connect, instead of being fragmented and scatter brained. I’m suggesting we set an example of living life through honesty and sincerity instead of living a life based on false pretenses.

I’m suggesting we allow them to follow their own unique calling (at home and in school), rather than overlaying our own expectations about their future. I’m suggesting, more often than not, we allow them to be and we appreciate them for who they are without requiring any outcome. I’m suggesting we celebrate the unique beings that they each are. And most importantly, I’m suggesting we learn to truly love ourselves, so we can show them how to give love, accept love and be love.

This, I believe, is how our village can become more consciously connected when it comes to raising children.

While these suggestions are not cures, they would go a long way in helping our youth to once again value who they are and to know their self-worth.

If this entry has been beneficial to you, please consider sharing it with others via the email and social bookmarking links below.

Posts Related to It Takes a Conscious Village

Shaking off Social Pressure to Achieve Self Actualization
Blazing Your Own Trail
Blazing Your Own Trail: the Techniques Part I
Intentionally Reclaiming Our Power
8 Tips for Achieving a More Secure Peaceful State of Mind
Releasing Attachments to Judgmental Labels

Have you ever had an experience in which you honestly felt you weren’t fully responsible for making the decision or the choice to engage in a set of circumstances or an event – it just sort of slipped up on you? This line of thinking is not my normal approach with regards to taking full responsibility for everything in our lives. However, I’m willing to entertain such a thing because I felt something similar regarding my “choice” of becoming a vegetarian in 2008.

Prior to this last year, I had always been a meat eater. That’s not a fact I’m proud of, but it’s something I’m willing to admit. Though I was raised in a household where my mom was a vegetarian, I still consumed meat. Even after embarking on the path of becoming more consciously aware and respectful of all living things, I continued to consume meat.

The contradiction in that last sentence should have been obvious to me at some point, but it wasn’t. Just like so many of the issues I’ve had to face in becoming more self-actualized, my “taste” for meat (as a young adult) was motivated by my own issues of low self-esteem.

As a teenager, I was constantly teased for being painfully thin. This situation only compounded an already burgeoning state of insecurity. By age 18, I began a very serious bodybuilding and weight training hobby, with the hopes of shedding my old appearance. I had grown to hate the body I saw in the mirror and was willing to do almost anything to permanently alter or change it, even if it meant hurting myself in the process. My motto was: “I can’t do anything about my face, but I can certainly do something to fix my body” – somewhat empowering, yet simultaneously self defeating, wouldn’t you say?

Because of my strong desire to outgrow my old body, I began devouring any and all bodybuilding literature, videos, conversations in the gym, etc. Everything pointed in the same direction with regards to a muscle building diet: animal protein and more animal protein. I submersed myself in the lifestyle and lost sight of the consequences of my actions. While this post isn’t about body image (that’s coming up in a future entry), it’s important to point out how easy it is to make unconscious decisions when we’re suffering emotionally. The dietary habits I formed during that decade of self-destructive bodybuilding had become ingrained. Throughout my late twenties and early thirties I continued to eat meat.

However, in 2008, this practice came to a screeching halt. While I’ve been completely aware of the vegan and vegetarian lifestyle for years, my personal change had nothing to do with intentionally emulating these admirable actions (at least it didn’t feel that way). I don’t actually know how to explain the manner in which I became a vegetarian. This takes me back to my statement in the opening paragraph: I didn’t feel fully responsible for making the decision.

I woke up one day, and it was as if my taste buds for meat had been removed. It began with beef in March of last year and worked its way down the list of the other animals (e.g. chicken and fish) I was consuming. Honestly, I attribute this change to absolutely following the wind of my soul, whether I was aware of it or not.

Based on my current path, becoming a vegetarian was the next logical step in my development and evolution. It appears “something” knew that better than I did. Feel free to call it whatever you like: a subconscious motivation, a conscious choice that I chose to overlook, or some form of soulful intervention; all I know is that I’m currently far more satisfied with my food choices, by no longer being responsible for contributing to the slaughter of animals. My dietary intake still includes large amounts of protein, but they now come in the form of protein powders, dairy and soy based products only.

I’m not here to judge anyone’s choices when it comes to eating or not eating meat. Just as I had to go through my own experience of waking up, so will others and I respect that.

However, in closing this post, I will leave you with this concept: if an animal is killed in a violent manner (name a slaughterhouse in which that’s not the case) and a person chooses to eat its meat – that same animal’s molecules are melding with the molecules of the individual; this includes everything the animal felt, coursing through its veins, at the moment of death.

We compound the poisoning of our own vibrational state, by first killing and then eating that which has been violently killed. Yet, if we’re already in a place of psychologically poisoning ourselves on a daily basis, what other actions would be fitting to take, if not those which mirror our own internal turmoil? I’m not defending the killing or carnivorous action; only understanding the lack of awareness in why it’s committed, because I used to be there.

If you enjoyed this post or found it beneficial, please consider sharing it with others. Thanks for supporting Wind of the Soul.