Life Lessons?
January 31st, 2008 by John Wolfe
I recently spoke with an acquaintance that knows about energy and understands that our emotions, thoughts and beliefs contribute completely to the experiences we are encountering. Yet, they simultaneously hold firmly to the idea that anytime they hit a rough patch in their life it means they must have had lessons to learn. I always listen quietly and respectfully to their explanations, until eventually shifting gears and changing the direction of our conversations. While I never knock anyone’s personal beliefs; we all have the ability to view our circumstances in anyway we choose, I can’t help but notice how disempowering this life lessons approach can be.
Obviously, this is a very personal thing. If it makes someone feel better (than where they just were, emotionally speaking) to chalk their recent experiences up to life lessons, then far be it from me to say it’s not a valid approach. However, if we always turn to that excuse every time things seem amiss, it’s tantamount to saying that something outside our own awareness is assigning tasks and obstacles to us because we refuse to “play ball.”
It’s a lot like using the past life dodge as a means for explaining away our circumstances. When I say dodge, I’m not mocking reincarnation. I believe in [a form of] it fully. But I don’t think we should try to blame all of our circumstances in this life experience on our past lives.
This approach is also similar to what I just discussed in the first segment of my most recent podcast. In it, I was referring to spiritual teachers who teach that we are all responsible for creating our own reality, yet they also insist there are certain standards each of us should have or try and measure up to so we can be considered truly wealthy and successful. They maintain the key to “creating our dream life” is to attain wealth in all areas of our lives.
Here’s my problem with that train of thought: if we are going to fully acknowledge and embrace the fact that we are the god of our life experience, then there is no one outside of ourselves that is assigning lessons, nor is there anyone external from us who has the right to imply what our personal measures of wealth and success should be- not society, our families, spouses, friends, or teachers. The only measuring stick we should ever use is our own barometer of happiness and the only things we should ever consistently pursue are those which continue to contribute to that expansive state of being.
Those things that many deem life lessons are reflections from within working themselves to the surface of our experiences. It’s similar to when we have a foreign object lodged beneath the surface of our skin. If it’s small it rarely causes any issue and soon will become absorbed and covered over by the rest of our dermal tissue. If it’s a large sliver or splinter that’s agitated and pointed, eventually it will come to a head and demand to be dealt with.
The same is true for these so called life lessons. They are representations of our own internal foreign objects of destructive thought and internal strife. These ideas and concepts are foreign to us because they did not come with our built in awareness of love, joy, happiness, creativity and freedom. They were picked up along the way and we allowed them to burrow into our ideas and concepts about life, events and other people.
The more attention we devote to them (usually without realizing how harmful they are) the more pointed and agitated we become about their presence in our experience, because deep down we know them to be foreign to who and what we truly are. They eventually come to a head just as the splinters or slivers under our skin.
They manifest, presenting themselves to us in the form of health problems, obstacles, impediments and obstructions. If we’re truly aware and tuned into our consistent state of being we’ll recognize their presence as the reflection of our own inner turmoil rising to the surface; if we are not, we’ll attribute them to some form of lessons that have been tossed in our path.
These experiences are a fine example of how we get in our own way. Often times we default back to assigning them to something which is external from ourselves, but they aren’t. We may do this because we honestly don’t believe we would ever stand in the way of our own joyous experiences, yet we do it all the time. We do it without even being aware of the fact. We do it each and every time we focus upon a subject or thought which brings on the emotions of anxiety, stress, fear, depression, doubt, worry or judgment.
Life does not exist because we have to go through a ton of garbage and learning lessons. It exists for the beautiful, amazing, creative experiences. We only encounter the splinters and slivers along the way when we lose touch with the latter and become entrenched in the former.
I suppose we could even chalk that up to a lesson if we’re so inclined. We could give anything that label if we are determined and eager to pound it into that shape and form. But if we believe we are here to overcome experiences and learn lessons, then that’s exactly what we’ll continue to encounter. Why force ourselves through senseless trials and tribulations that are only self-imposed from the start? Therein resides the problem in viewing our journey as one long line of lessons instead of acknowledging we are solely responsible. We can make it as easy or as difficult on ourselves as we choose.
Be mindful of those splinters as they continue to rise to the surface. Appreciate the fact they are reflecting their presence in your experience. Without their presence, we would not be aware of the resistant foreign objects we’ve embedded in our thought processes. Work to dig them out, but not through brute force. That strategy may work on literal splinters, but on the metaphorical ones we must release the attention to the emotions and thoughts which were/are responsible for their presence in the first place.
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October 28th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
This statement is the tough one for most to remember: “We can make it as easy or as difficult on ourselves as we choose.” I have encountered many people who have “conditions” or “disorders” that they feel are strictly chemical of the brain and somewhat out of their control. Yes, the brain does contain a fine tuned balanced amount of just what we need both physically and emotionally BUT, if much of what you write about on your website is true (as I personally feel it is) then even the so-called chemical reactions of the brain are also very much controlable by the person.
This entry has inspired and fed my thoughts on a number of different paths, all of which I will refrain from sharing at this time, but for people who are having a good day right now and their mood is balanced, this post seems like a very reasonable way of seeing life in general. What gets me are the ones who ARE spiritually aware, ARE aware that THEY CREATE their life right now –good and bad– and that their “reactions” are NOT outside of them, are NOT a chemical mis-fire of the brain. Rather it’s something consciously IN them that they have to sort out.
Life lessons…..Divine timing…..is there really such thing as a Divine Plan of our Creator? In which case, wouldn’t what we ARE experiencing constitute AS life lessons? Wouldn’t the soul, or spirit have certain things that needed to be learned, thus life lessons? Perhaps lesson is not quite the right word for what we ARE learning on a constant basis. Although, it does feel very much like……..LIFE lessons, sort of like Earth is a school and we are here to learn about everything and anything that suits us at any given time. Anyways, I better stop there. Some of your blogs John are most interesting knowing you as I do. Do you ever scratch your head and raise an eyebrow and go, “wait…..I know better than that!” LoL
Yet another insightful posting.
Many Blessings, G~*~
December 5th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I’m curious John, though your blog in this entry is wonderfully put and I know I’ve already commented before, why else would be on Earth right now if it wasn’t to experience being human? Moreover, isn’t experiencing anything in life identical to a “lesson?” Mind you dear one, I’m not at all talking about “lessons” as we were brainwashed in school. Not as though God/Creator sits down and maps out what “lessons” we need to learn for that day. Goodness….lol….talk about a monsterous job! But isn’t the evolution of our spirit, our soul indeed have much to do with LEARNING along the way??? So…..if we are “learning” wouldn’t that be another form of a lesson or lessons that are taking place?
By all means I do NOT believe that Creator is keeping track of our good/bad deeds and making a list or marking “the book” in heaven about it. You know me well enough to understand that I don’t believe at all in the “typical” brainwash structure of the world we live in. But I do believe that personally, each and every single one of us DOES have something huge we are contributing to this process for humanity. Just as a 9 month old baby is learning to walk…..wouldn’t that also contribute to being a “life lesson?” Bigger question yet–are experiences and life lessons the same thing???
If you reply to this comment, please be sure to send me a notice in my inbox so I can read what you typed back. Unless, of course, you share your thoughts with me in a more personal matter
This is an excellent post and I’m really anxious to read your new blog entry shortly. I can’t wait!!!
Much Love, G~*~
December 5th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Goldie,
Thanks for your comment. I think we are on a similar page when it comes to my entry and your reply.
I absolutely believe we grow and learn throughout every life experience, but I shy away from using the word lessons when describing these experiences. The word lesson evokes a strange feeling inside of me and because of that, I avoid using the word as it pertains to our human experience.
For me, lesson seems to bring forth the idea of right and wrong - at least when used in the traditional way of speaking in our society. Removing the word lesson and its connotations from my vocabulary has been a further form of self-empowerment.
Of course, life is about change and evolution but as I said above:
“…If we believe we are here to overcome experiences and learn lessons, then that’s exactly what we’ll continue to encounter. Why force ourselves through senseless trials and tribulations that are only self-imposed from the start? Therein resides the problem in viewing our journey as one long line of lessons instead of acknowledging we are solely responsible. We can make it as easy or as difficult on ourselves as we choose.”
Again, for me, lessons imply we are doing something improper or incorrectly. So I shy away from using the word and the connotations associated with it. I do believe in persevering, despite whatever appears to be in our path, but I think we have to be cautious to always expect life to be about lesson upon lesson. That makes us overly cautious and limits our creative nature. If we bring that mindset into our consciousness, we surely will find tons and tons of lessons making their way to us.
I’m not disagreeing with you - I just choose to look at it slightly differently, as I believe this is an important factor in intentionally changing my life and empowering myself over circumstances that are out of my control.
December 6th, 2008 at 11:16 am
I see, I see, I see. Thank you my dearest friend for this clarification. Your right on the mark and I never thought of it that way. Personally, I never drew it the meaning of spiritual life lessons as being a right or wrong by using such a term…….lessons. Interesting how we have a different take on that word. However, I can understand fully where you are coming from pertaining to this thought process.
I suppose I’m to the point in life where I do not…….judge situations in my life as a right or wrong through the experience of lessons. I’ve had more of the feeling that, upon coming into this current body form, I agreed upon/possibly staged certain life events to happen so I “learned” from them. Thus comes the term lessons. I’m “learning” in this lifetime but I have never judged any of it as rights or wrongs, or A+ or flat out F’s.
Even certain experiences that didn’t work out as I thought they would, to this day, are invaluable lessons that, if it were NOT from that situation, I would not be where I am today nor the person I am. So some in society would see some of my life as a failure, due to their brainwashing and REprogamming, but I never did. Again, I’ve always been very different in that regards. Everything truly does happen for a reason. Think of your own life John…….if it weren’t for some of the tough tribluations you’ve been through…….would you not be the beautiful person you are today???
So, in closing, if staying away from the word lessons helps you to remain focused and grounded in the now and what you are doing, I say GO FOR IT. It’s most important that we ALL intentionally change our lives in the ways and manners in which suits us just right. After all, NONE of us are the same, not even in the remotest ways. The only way in which we are all the same is that we are all ONE and ultimatley here on Earth for very Divine Purposes. Thank you for this clarification John. I do appreciate your time, as always