Learning to Let Go
April 11th, 2008 by John Wolfe
Within the last few months I’ve made some important discoveries regarding the title of today’s post. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’ve gotten good at consistently applying those discoveries, but I’m continuing to try.
I’ve always been the type of person that’s been an absolute perfectionist about endeavors that I feel are worth pursuing- especially anything of an artistic nature or something that’s intended to benefit others. Even if a project sounds great or looks great, after five hours of work, I believe it will be even better after ten hours and so on.
This is the same logic I apply to my writing and audio recordings. Pick out any post, on this site, that’s at least three typed pages long and I can show you ten+ hours of writing that went into that particular post. Pick out any podcast, thirty minutes or longer, and I can show you twenty+ hours that went into creating it. Most bloggers would probably never dream of spending that much time on a single post or recording, but I frequently demand it of myself.
When you love what you’re doing, the hours fly by anyway, so it’s not an issue regarding the time invested. The issue here pertains to my need to sometimes over manage the creative process. While I’m absolutely concerned about my material being beneficial and top notch; much of the over managing stems from a place within me that’s concerned about being accepted (by my readers/listeners) and succeeding as a professional blogger.
Now, I don’t base my version of success on the same merits society typically uses. If I were to do that, it would be safe to say I’ve never been a “success” at anything I’ve ever done. Simply, because I’ve never actively pursued many of the material things and positions of status we’re coaxed into pursuing for measuring our levels of achievement.
Instead, I base my success on the amount of joy I’m receiving from my work and the amount of help and benefit I’m providing to others. These are the goals that continue to inspire me. All of the work I’m currently doing provides me with more joy than anything I’ve ever done in my life, so on that front, I would have to say I’m extremely successful.
However, I have occasionally noticed my readers don’t seem to communicate with me (via many different means) nearly as often as the readers of other blogs; especially those sites that pertain to somewhat similar content. I know many bloggers aren’t overly concerned with lack in reader feedback; in fact, some shut comments down entirely on their sites.
But for me, reader email feedback and comments are an important part of the process. This isn’t about getting my ego stroked. I’ll approve negative reader comments as quickly as I approve the positive ones. Instead, it’s about reaching out to my readers and gauging whether I’m providing value or not based upon your interactions. Even when I receive negative comments, I know I’m stimulating people’s minds.
It’s this area that’s created some concern for me and has at times, led to the occasional doubt about my work and whether or not I’m really making a difference. When doubt starts to creep in, I begin noticing an incessant increase in the need to try and control the creative, expressive process and its outcomes.
In Podcast #5: The Inspiration Behind Deliberate Creation, I spoke about getting out of our own way as much as possible to allow all we desire to unfold. In the post Effortless Passionate Creativity, I discussed the idea when we passionately create, without over thinking and managing, we become a conduit for the most positive aspects of Universal energy. These are life changing concepts I’m fully aware of and believe in, yet sometimes I continue to miss the forest for the trees and catch myself getting in my own way.
This is an area where I’ve learned I have to consistently release and let go. When I first came to that realization, I was a little confused about what letting go meant. I used to believe you had to keep something at the forefront of your thoughts, almost at all times, to really make it manifest. It’s like having tunnel vision. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to embrace the concept of letting go; if it meant that being distracted from my vision would prevent it from coming to fruition.
It’s taken me a while, theoretically working with this idea, to finally, fully realize letting go doesn’t mean relinquishing my dreams for this site or the quality of my work. It means letting go of trying to force my acceptance and my success (based on feedback). It means being myself, continuing to do what I love; having fun, maintaining my vision, staying positive, staying consistent, taking action when it is necessary- backing off when it’s not, and realizing everything will work out.
With that being said, I absolutely appreciate the great feedback I have received. Many of you have sent such amazing messages; they’ve brought tears to my eyes and to you I’m thankful. Others have left messages completely disagreeing with my philosophies and to you, I’m also thankful.
And to those who visit, but aren’t inclined to leave comments and feedback: I appreciate your interest in my work as well. I’m coming to realize your silence may or may not mean I’m making a difference in your lives. Either way, it’s ok because my intent to do so and the joy I feel from taking this journey is what counts (this is true for all of us and whatever endeavor we undertake). Thank you for helping me to learn to let go.
In my next post I’ll be expanding upon this idea and how it can be useful, for the purpose of broadening our horizons, both here and once we move beyond this plane of focus.
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Podcast #5: The Inspiration Behind Deliberate Creation
Effortless Passionate Creativity
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Blazing Your Own Trail
Intentionally Reclaiming Our Power
Peaceful Warrior
March 21st, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Hi, I’d just like to take this opportunity to tell you that I originally found one of your podcasts on youtube just last night and have been enthusiastically reading many of your blog posts since then. , I’ll try to be very brief about how this has helped me. Recently, I’ve had this inner feeling of frustration and struggle that I couldn’t put my finger on. I mentioned it to a friend who I knew would understand, and found that things he was saying resonated with me. Much of it is a part of my spirit or life force or whatever you’d like to call it feeling trapped in the physical realm we live in. I first started listening to your podcasts about astral projection, as this is a topic i have worked on in short bursts of enthusiasm over the past couple years. I have been propelled by your words, and am going to try to get into it again. All of your blogs have been encouragement to me in that there is someone out there who understands this inner turmoil I’ve been feeling. I will continue to read and listen to you, and want you to know just how much I absolutely appreciate it all.