Wind of the Soul

Many years ago, when confronted by the question, “Are you happy?” I distinctly recall my reaction. Though the individual posing it was being completely sincere, I felt it was a ludicrous thing to ask. How could something so simple seem like such a strange query? As she awaited a response; my mind, only partially aware of the ever increasing lull in the conversation, was desperately trying to piece together some semblance of a reply. I stumbled around a bit and timidly answered with, “I guess”. After that, the rest of the exchange was a blur.

Looking back on it now, I understand why I reacted in that manner. It was a subtle form of shock. There I was, in my early twenties, never having contemplated whether or not I was truly happy at the deepest level of my being. In fact, up until that point, I don’t think I even considered happiness an option or an emotion associated with living life. Sure, I had fleeting moments of joy, but real, concrete happiness always seemed to be a nice fantasy reserved for someone else.

For me, life at that point had become completely unintentional. I lived to get things done and that was that. I was working and going to college, but all of my experiences were devoid of passion, drive, purpose, clarity and meaning.

Other than the emotion of fear, I had little reason to get out of bed in the morning. Fear and anxiety became my sole motivators for living. I stayed at a job where I was underpaid and under appreciated because of the fear of trying something new. I went to school, not for myself or because I enjoyed it, but because I was scared of what my family would think if I didn’t go and terrified of what would become of me without a degree.
(Read the rest of Granting Yourself Permission…)

Anyone familiar with the proverb (or Hillary Clinton’s 1996 book): “It takes a village to raise a child”, will recognize my play on words in the title of this entry. While I don’t have children of my own, the psychological well-being during a child’s formative years is a cause that’s very close to my heart. I suffered with severe forms of depression, obsessions and compulsions throughout my childhood. It’s a child’s development, for better or worse, which will continue to impact them throughout the remainder of their lives, far beyond their formative years. I know, because I’m still working on healing my past.

I often talk about changing the world. If it’s true we must be the change we want to see, and I believe it is; shouldn’t that change be directed primarily towards the youngest of minds, as they will come to have the greatest impact on the direction of humanity?

The majority of psychological issues faced by most adults were exacerbated during their childhood. The sad fact: as a nation, the United States has more children with mental health issues than ever before. I’m not talking about institutionalized conditions. I’m talking about “common”, “ordinary” issues like depression, eating disorders, emotional issues, body dysmorphia, etc. If our ways of raising, educating and socializing children are working so well, why are we seeing an increase in psychological trauma?
(Read the rest of It Takes a Conscious Village…)

Have you ever had an experience in which you honestly felt you weren’t fully responsible for making the decision or the choice to engage in a set of circumstances or an event – it just sort of slipped up on you? This line of thinking is not my normal approach with regards to taking full responsibility for everything in our lives. However, I’m willing to entertain such a thing because I felt something similar regarding my “choice” of becoming a vegetarian in 2008.

Prior to this last year, I had always been a meat eater. That’s not a fact I’m proud of, but it’s something I’m willing to admit. Though I was raised in a household where my mom was a vegetarian, I still consumed meat. Even after embarking on the path of becoming more consciously aware and respectful of all living things, I continued to consume meat.

The contradiction in that last sentence should have been obvious to me at some point, but it wasn’t. Just like so many of the issues I’ve had to face in becoming more self-actualized, my “taste” for meat (as a young adult) was motivated by my own issues of low self-esteem.

As a teenager, I was constantly teased for being painfully thin. This situation only compounded an already burgeoning state of insecurity. By age 18, I began a very serious bodybuilding and weight training hobby, with the hopes of shedding my old appearance. I had grown to hate the body I saw in the mirror and was willing to do almost anything to permanently alter or change it, even if it meant hurting myself in the process. My motto was: “I can’t do anything about my face, but I can certainly do something to fix my body” – somewhat empowering, yet simultaneously self defeating, wouldn’t you say?
(Read the rest of Becoming a Vegetarian…)

The Conversations With God Giveaway has closed. I’d like to congratulate Steven Labella of San Diego, California, Kirk Ray of Florida, and Ryan Brenny of Hilo, Hawaii. They each won a brand new copy of “Conversations With God.”

“I am not concerned about your worldly success – only you are. You are not to worry about making a living. True masters are those that have chosen to make a life, not a living. Go ahead, do whatever you really love. Do nothing else. You have so little time. Why would you want to waste it doing something you don’t want to do? That isn’t a living – it’s a dying.” – Neale Donald Walsch, “Conversations With God”

The above quote is one of my favorites from the film and it brings us to the second Wind of the Soul giveaway. In this second installment, I’m giving three brand new DVD copies of Conversations With God to three separate winners.

The film, directed by the Co-founder of Spiritual Cinema Circle, was meant to be a screen adaptation of the series of best selling books by the same name. Though the movie doesn’t represent the unfolding of the books – it does impart much of the same spiritual wisdom, as we follow Neale (played by Henry Czerny) through some extremely turbulent experiences.

Neale, like so many of us, prior to discovering the connection to his own divine nature, unconsciously battles his way through life. He has to scrape rock bottom before discovering the inner knowledge, which leads him out of the depths of his despair. And, that’s why this movie is so endearing to me. Granted, it has some very sad and depressing sequences, but the ultimate realization and self-awakening is what’s so inspirational.
(Read the rest of Conversations With God…)

Though, I’m a huge advocate of being vigilant concerning where we place the majority of our attention, I also understand the importance of being aware of the current economic reality facing this nation. I’m not an economist, nor do I pretend to have the slightest grasp of fiscal expertise. But, perhaps I possess something else which qualifies me to write this post: I’ve had an experience with a situation that’s currently happening to many people. And, in my opinion, I represent a real world example of coming out the other side better off for having experienced it.

Seven and a half years ago, I was displaced from my job of almost a decade (along with roughly one thousand others) when my employer filed for bankruptcy. We were union; I was vested and building on a decent little pension, not to mention having amazing medical, dental and vision coverage. My hourly rate of pay was almost five times that of minimum wage (in 2001).

Due to the great benefits and the literal amount of blood sweat and tears I had invested in my position, I was devastated when our location was unable to escape a wave of closures that rocked the company. There were “rescue” buyout negotiations occurring all around us, yet we weren’t among those being saved.
(Read the rest of Economic Recession = Rebirth…)