Blazing Your Own Trail: the Techniques Part 1
March 5th, 2008 by John Wolfe
I want to continue my discussion of blazing your own trail to self/spiritual empowerment by identifying some specific techniques for breaking free from the pack mentality. In this post, I’m going to take three of the five main areas that I feel serve to influence and reinforce the path we currently follow and discuss ways for undoing the strangleholds they may have on us.
Of course, the easiest way to break free from any of these is to always make your own happiness your priority. Your joy will guide you. However, when we’re in the middle of an ongoing disempowering situation, it’s difficult to remember that. It’s easy to lose ground quickly; therefore it’s helpful to recognize techniques for making the changes, prior to sinking again and again in the quicksand of the unfolding situations.
It’s always important for us to remember: despite what anyone else thinks- all that matters is our opinion pertaining to our experiences and choices. We have to learn to actually alter our thinking and the processing of information before we’re able to accept that it’s ok to take the path less traveled.
Many of the techniques I discuss in this post, and in the following one, fly in the face of conventional “wisdom.” Yet, if we are interested in removing ourselves from the carbon copy lifestyles we see around us, we have to be willing to break from the ranks.
The typical pack logic prevents us from having much of anything worthwhile to offer to one another because we are taught to coexist and co-create from an agreed upon illusory state of conditional feelings; consisting of lack, limitation, and struggle. If we would strive to make real happiness the most important thing in our lives, then these falsehoods could no longer have any effect upon us.
I hope the following ideas (which I try and consistently use in my own life) help you to blaze your own trail, uncovering the path you want to travel.
Sense of family, community, and belonging to peer groups can be an amazing experience or it can be one of the most awful, gut wrenching experiences around, depending on how we’re treated. The pack mentality likes to encourage conformity with regards to family and life long friendship. We’re taught to respect our elders and keep our bonds tight among friends and family. Yet, if they’re doing us more harm than good, this is an extremely destructive creed to maintain.
I fully believe we are only treated externally, based on the way we feel about ourselves internally. In other words, we can only interact and find those people that are matches to how we see ourselves. Some people still believe opposites attract with regards to relationships. While certain individuals may have surface characteristics which appear to be opposite of one another, down deep they have more in common than anyone would ever guess.
For someone that’s in a situation of being insulted, or mistreated by their family or friends, it’s extremely difficult to break the cycle of abuse, when you are also internally abusing yourself. It makes it almost impossible to speak up to your abuser because you don’t feel worthy of doing so, since the conversations you carry on in your head are just as detrimental. I believe it is important to try and work these situations out in other ways before taking a more drastic step, but for someone that is having self esteem and self respect issues, it may be best to remove themselves entirely from the situation.
Sometimes severing ties with peers, friends, and/or family members that are consistently providing destructive, harmful influence (whether emotional or physical) is the best thing we can do. This may sound harsh and it may sound like I’m suggesting we place conditions on our love for them, but we’re not loving ourselves unconditionally if we continue associating with people that are destructive toward who we are. If we are not in a place to fully love ourselves, and are only receiving reinforcement of those feelings, emanating from the people we associate with, then we’re definitely not capable of providing real love to anyone else either.
This may be easier said than done. I know because I speak from experience. I went through a time in my life where I had to make a choice surrounding the people I called my friends. Even though they were a part of my life for years, I felt the need to move beyond their influence and it wasn’t easy.
That doesn’t mean I consider them bad people. I just felt I was not being respected and I knew they were only showing me the disrespect I felt for myself. I had to break the cycle by breaking away from them and finding the love and respect for myself that I deserved. It’s a portion of this experience that I touched on in Spiritual Hermits.
As we’re in the middle of making these tough decisions, it can feel like we are completely alone and isolated; but by moving beyond the past negative influences we provide ourselves with an opportunity to heal. Once we’ve healed, we can then work to forgive our past and appreciate it for bringing us to even greater moments of clarity. It’s then that we’ll begin to find new people coming into our lives. Those people which are more appropriate for the individual we’ve become, the individual that was always waiting to shine through.
I’m not saying abusers are horrible people. While I don’t agree at all with their actions, I understand why they do what they do. They suffer from the same lack of self love their victims internally feel. This is why they’re a match for one another. Abusers have bought into the lies about life and are operating from a fear based mechanism for trying to find their power. It’s a vicious cycle, but you can’t stop it by hanging around to take more of it. You have to break free from their abuse as well as your own.
Blazing your own trail in the area of how you earn your income may mean leaving a job or career that no longer serves your purpose. Maybe you’ve been experiencing a spiritual awakening and the career field you’re currently in no longer aligns with your new found awareness. Find the means within your purpose for earning your income. Nothing feels better and more rewarding than to know you’re following your calling and earning a living by doing so.
Another fine example of our brains being washed by this society is the belief that we have to pursue certain career paths, whether they align with our purpose or not. This is the “bottom line” mentality. We’re taught to go where the money is, instead of going where our heart takes us. This too stems from a fear based responsive mechanism built into our cultural consciousness.
Many people are too afraid to alter their lifestyle, for the time being, out of concern over what others may think if they were to suddenly quit keeping up with the Joneses. And some simply won’t do without because they are addicted to their present lifestyle, even though it may no longer be serving them.
If it means we have to lower our standard of living for a certain amount of time, as we follow our heart, then so be it. I would much rather change my lifestyle to be able to follow my bliss instead of living high on the hog; slaving away at a job which is totally removed from my personal path. I believe that’s a far better trade off.
Following your heart, with regards to the way you bring in your income, will eventually pay off in huge dividends. I’m not necessarily talking money here, although I do believe the money will come because of such pursuits. I’m primarily speaking about how much more joyous your life experience will become. The personal satisfaction you feel will more than make up for any perceived lack of “things.”
This doesn’t mean you have to suffer to follow your bliss. On the contrary, as you follow your passion, doors will begin opening up for you. It always works that way. Appreciate where you currently are and anticipate what’s waiting around each corner.
I’m not saying it will always be extremely easy to blaze your own trail in the area of your career, especially if you are self employed. But if you pursue what you love, maintain your vision, find a way to benefit others, and take consistent action in the direction of that which you desire- I believe you cannot fail. First and foremost, you’ve already succeeded because you’re following your heart, your true calling, and you’re developing a strong belief in yourself.
“Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you” – taken from the book Unstoppable
We need to learn to take responsibility for our own health. We primarily believe it’s the responsibility of doctors to take care of us. The typical pack mentality supports the idea that we have zero control over our health; we’re just accidents and illnesses waiting for a place to happen. In my mind, doctors are almost always a last ditch resort for those that have ignored their health, on all levels. The body, when provided with the proper mindset, along with proper nutrients, and exercise, is built to instinctually take care of itself.
It’s only when we start messing around with our natural processes through the absorption of junk (certain food, drugs and meds), along with the introduction of exuberant amounts of junky thoughts, stress, and dysfunction that the body is thrown off its center. If you’ll address the other four primary items discussed in the Blazing Your Own Trail series, then you will have already made giant strides towards having a healthier body. Aside from consistent exercise and eating properly, the rest will fall into place on its own. If we would mind what we introduce into our bodies, on all levels, then they would restore their natural balance.
If you currently find yourself in an unhealthy state concerning your physical well being, then start taking a good look at how you behave and react within the categories I’ve discussed in this post and will be discussing in the next one. Just because you’re currently feeling unhealthy doesn’t mean you’re doomed to that state of being for the rest of your life. Do your best to resist the urge to discuss your ailments. The pack mentality loves to commiserate with each other about ill health. They’ll go as far as arguing who has it worse among one another and brag about what procedures they’ve had done at the doctor’s office.
This is nothing to brag about. It’s actually disturbing to see how far some people go in an effort to fight for their illnesses. They’ve completely given up their power to the medical establishment. They live in a disempowered stupor about their health; mesmerized by insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, and the evening news.
Doctors (and some medicines) have their proper place, but we need to make sure we keep them in it. Don’t allow them to encroach upon areas of your life that are fully under your control.
Blaze your own trail by cleaning up your diet, exercising, and starting a daily routine of meditation. I’m not suggesting you have to become a vegan, a bodybuilder, or a monk. Just eat sensibly and pay attention to how your body responds to certain foods. Do the same with your exercise and meditation.
This doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Do what you can from where you are- nothing drastic at first. Give yourself permission to take it slowly. Rushing into anything and expecting immediate results only serves to further strip you of your power and happiness. It leads to frustration and you’ll begin beating up on yourself and using the same criteria the majority of society uses to measure and gauge their empty ideas of success.
If it’s been years since you’ve exercised, seek help from qualified individuals for getting on a proper routine. While I’ve been an avid weight trainer for years, I’m not in the position for giving out advice on designing exercise/diet routines for others. But I’d be more than happy to help you with developing a routine for meditating.
Even though I originally designed the post Techniques for Achieving an OBE, for teaching people how to have an out of body experience, I believe the meditation techniques in it are very sound for relaxation and for beneficially altering brain chemistry. And you’re always more than welcome to contact me if you have any questions about meditation or anything else.
In my next post, I’ll be addressing the issues of material possessions, our physical attributes and how we can break free from the limiting thoughts we may develop around these subjects.
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Related Posts
Blazing Your Own Trail
Blazing Your Own Trail: the Techniques Part 2
Spiritual Hermits
Shaking Off Social Pressure to Achieve Self Actualization
