Wind of the Soul

A prerequisite or at least co-requisite of persistence (for goal achievement) is an unshakable belief in ourselves and the projects we undertake. Yet, how do we develop and maintain this foundation of belief, in a world which seems so determined to undermine our self-confidence? There’s no single magic bullet for answering that question. Building confidence, if we’ve allowed it to be stripped from us, or if we feel we never truly had “it” to begin with is something that takes consistent work.

I’ve mentioned in previous posts I used to suffer severely from depression and other issues. After spending many years succumbing to that state of mind, I found myself in a void regarding self-esteem and lacking confidence in my abilities. It’s only been through consistently working with the techniques in this post (as well as many of the other techniques found throughout this site) that I have been able to develop a stronger belief in myself, my ideas and my dreams.

That’s not to say I don’t occasionally feel the effects of my past. I’m just better prepared, now, to prevent those negative emotional states from reaching epic proportions. Getting down on ourselves is normal from time to time, but it’s important to find a way out of that mindset as quickly as possible, in order to maintain a strong sense of belief in our abilities.

When we’re upset or depressed, our thoughts are self-defeating. In turn, our actions (if we even feel capable of taking action), from this state of mind, will usually be completely out of sync and often times counterproductive.

Sometimes taking physical action can serve to snap us out of a funk. However, since the accomplishment of our goals requires us to be consistently firing on all cylinders, through our thoughts and actions; it’s important to cultivate our self-esteem and safeguard our positive mindset. This encourages us to take charge of any negative internal conflict before it gets too far out of control.

Just as I mentioned in my previous post, the only difference between people that have achieved their dreams and those that have not- is a relentless, consistent drive to do so. These people have honed an unwavering belief in their abilities and they know their goals will be achieved. Their relentless drive may be fueled by many things, such as: wanting to make a difference, helping others, wanting a better life, wanting to experience various levels of success, having more abundance, having personal freedom, establishing healthier relationships, etc.

The common thread in all of those pursuits, however, is the desire to sustain happiness. We have to realize an inner bliss before our external reality can begin to express it as well. And once we’ve realized it internally, we will have simultaneously developed a stronger belief in our abilities for taking the necessary actions to see it manifest physically.

Below are five techniques for helping with both the internal and external processes:

#1: Love yourself unconditionally.

This may sound funny, but right now, say aloud, “I love me!” Seriously try it- and as you are saying it, pay attention to how you feel. Your feelings will provide an honest indication of your relationship with you. If there is a slight hesitation or if you feel skeptical or doubtful, you are receiving valuable feedback.

Certainly we aren’t accustomed to saying phrases like that to ourselves and that fact alone may make most people feel awkward. But I believe even that awkwardness serves as important feedback. It’s amazing how willing we are to say, “I love you” to someone else, yet we think it’s silly to express it to ourselves in the same manner.

And just because we can say it to someone else doesn’t necessarily mean it’s unconditional love. Many of us have been taught a false sense of love which requires others to behave in specific ways. That concept stems from never developing a healthy love for who we are on the inside and out.

We’re consistently placing conditions on our love of self: “I’ll love myself when I lose twenty pounds.” “I’ll love myself when I have a great relationship.” “I’ll love myself when I make more money.” “I’ll love myself when…” Though we may not say it, our thoughts and emotions reflect those sentiments. How can we really love another if we don’t even know what it means to unconditionally care deeply for the person we spend more time with than anyone else? We must stop treating our own self-love as if it were a carrot on a stick; dangling in front of our faces, always out of reach.

It’s customary to assume someone that’s in love with him or herself is narcissistic, so loving who we are has to be a bad thing, right? I don’t think so. Narcissists aren’t practicing real, unconditional love. They are displaying the same type of fleeting infatuation for themselves that we so often display for others. Narcissists are consumed by impermanent attributes. Their love of self is only skin deep and turns very fickle with age.

Real love comes from a place devoid of requirements. Real love is about caring deeply for who you are right now, despite any supposed imperfections. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose twenty pounds, make more money or have great relationships (after all, this post is about goal achievement through belief), don’t confuse those items with your worthiness.

If you feel you have to achieve something before you can be considered worthy or loveable, you will be sorely disappointed throughout your life. You’ll never connect with true happiness because you will spend all of your time and energy associating it strictly with your exterior.

#2: Live with integrity.

Keep your word regarding self-promises and the promises you make to others. Consistently breaking our word and our commitments indicates a lack of respect for ourselves and those we interact with. This provides a constant feedback loop to our subconscious; implanting the knowledge we don’t have any intention of following through on the smallest of tasks; never mind pursuing our dreams with any consistency.

Since our level of integrity is directly related to our level of self-respect; it’s safe to say we have very little love for ourselves (see #1) if we can’t keep our promises. Living without integrity will always serve to impair our pursuits.

#3: Know you are happening to life.

Life and its circumstances are not happening to you. On the contrary, you are happening to life. This third technique is about getting away from any form of the victim mindset. If we believe things happen to us, then we will never adopt the attitude of being in charge of our destiny. So often we use any excuse possible to justify why we aren’t in a “better” place in our lives.

I believe our thoughts and emotions are intended to serve us, not debilitate us. Actively take charge of your thoughts and feelings, don’t allow them to take charge of you.

To pursue our dreams we have to be open to new experiences and change. If we continue to feel victimized regarding any of our past circumstances, then we will shy away from the changes that must come for our life to take on a different shape.

When you know you are happening to life and it’s no longer happening to you, you will have released your fears and resentments and will be better prepared to adapt to any changes. In fact, you will pursue change because you will see it as a necessary component for the accomplishment of your goals.

There are many resources contained at Wind of the Soul which elaborate further on this third technique. Below are links to three:

Intentionally Reclaiming Our Power
Exploring and Creating Our Reality
Spiritual Winds of Change

#4: Support others and their accomplishments.

When we can provide real support for their triumphs, we are in a place of wanting the best for ourselves as well. If we feel envy over the accomplishments of others, it means, deep down, we do not believe it’s possible to achieve our own goals. Furthermore, we don’t believe we are even worthy of success.

When we are completely confident in our abilities, there will be no room for jealousy in our emotions. As we feel free to celebrate others’ successes, we will be in a place of only expecting the very best outcomes in our own life as well.

Today, find someone you know who has recently accomplished something and tell them how proud you are of them. This simple act may seem trivial, but performing it consistently will help to reshape your outlook on achievement. It will also bolster the recipient’s confidence along with your own. When we uplift others we are also uplifting ourselves.

#5: Apply the previous four strategies while following a course of action.

As we bring ourselves into a more confident place with the previous four techniques, it’s time to start putting our thoughts in motion. While I don’t believe we should pursue something if we aren’t honestly feeling it. I also don’t believe we should wait for some supposed magic moment to pursue those things we are passionate about. This present moment is the best time to begin taking action toward the changes we desire.

Even if you feel there is much work to be done regarding the above strategies; the sheer fact they are now a part of your awareness will initiate the process. Becoming consciously aware is always the first step in any endeavor.

If this post has been helpful to you, please consider sharing it with others and/or making a donation. Thank you for supporting Wind of the Soul.

Related Posts

Persistence
Spiritual Winds of Change
Blazing Your Own Trail
Blazing Your Own Trail: the Techniques Part 1
Universal Law of Reciprocation
Effortless Passionate Creativity

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 17th, 2008 at 11:14 pm and is filed under Inspiration, Self-Help. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.